Recollection
by floorplanhobo
Summary: Eli became a complete stranger to Clare the moment she opened her eyes... and suddenly, he lost everything. A story about falling in love all over again, one day at a time. Rated M for mature situations.
1. Chapter 1

**Dislclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

**Author's note: Two things:**

**FIRST: This story is going to start a little tragic and angsty, but it won't be that way after a couple of chapters. I felt the need to write a happier fic, so hang in there. **

**SECOND: I'm aware that there might be a similar story out there (I'm not sure if there is), so sue me, hahaha. I will try to make this work. **

**THIRD: This fic is based on a real-life story. With that being said, I want to thank V. and M., the real-life couple that inspired this story. They patiently answered all my questions about their relationship and let me tell you, this is true love. The fact that they survived such a tragic incident and became stronger because of it is admirable and so inspiring. This is for them, although I know that nothing I write will be as compelling and beautiful as the true story. **

_**Eli**_

"Staring at the phone will not make it ring, Eli."

"Shut up, Torres."

Eli drank his cup of coffee placidly, his eyes fixed on the phone. He had been waiting for her call for more than three months, and nothing. What did he expect? For her to wake up one day and realize what had happened?

_Wishful thinking. _

"Eli," pleaded Adam, picking up his backpack before heading out to work. "I don't think she-"

"Do me a favor and leave," snapped Eli. "I don't need your pessimism right now."

"Fine," retorted Adam. "Sorry for being the pragmatic roommate everybody hates."

Adam left the apartment they shared and slammed the door after him, leaving Eli feeling upset. Three months without Clare had been almost unbearable, a tragedy, and he didn't know how much longer he could wait for her call.

He closed his eyes and the memories of _that _day invaded his mind. He just wished that some day, preferably soon, the same thing would happen to Clare.

_**Flashback **_

"I think we're all set," grinned Clare, her blue eyes startling him in the daylight. He never grew tired of looking at her, of simply staring; he knew that he was a very lucky man. They had been dating for five years, both of them attending the same college, and Eli was looking forward to graduating.

Because Clare had promised him that the moment he graduated they would move in together, and Eli couldn't wait. He had already secured a job at a publishing company where he was working as an underpaid intern, so he knew that things would be okay economically speaking.

"I know that you're not looking forward to spending time with my parents," said Clare, walking over to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him, giggling as she did. "But at least you'll get to see yours as well."

"And I have to drive your car," grimaced Eli mockingly. "Poor Morty, he feels betrayed."

"Well, excuse me, but _my_ car was made for long drives," chuckled Clare.

"So am I, if you know what I mean," winked Eli, and kissed her fiercely.

"Eli, not in front of your neighbors," said Clare shyly, pushing him away. The sun was starting to burn Eli's skin, and he stole another kiss from Clare before grabbing the last suitcase and putting it in Clare's car.

"You have a trillion suitcases, Edwards," smirked Eli. "We're only going to be there for a week."

"Never underestimate a girl's wardrobe," said Clare playfully. "Are you ready?"

Eli nodded, watching Clare as she got into the car, and he dug his hand in his pocket. The ring was still there and he gulped nervously, ready for the drive ahead.

_**Later**_

"Having Dead Hand on constant repeat is getting on my nerves," joked Clare as Eli sang along to his favorite band.

"Hey, no blasphemy in this car," retorted Eli, and Clare started laughing.

"But it's _my_ car, Eli," she protested, her voice full of cheekiness.

Eli chuckled and Clare took off her seat belt, making Eli glance at her. "Excuse me, safety first," noted Eli.

Clare stuck out her tongue at him and then smiled mischievously. "I have a magazine in the backseat, I just need to get it," she explained.

Clare started fumbling around as she tried to find the magazine in the backseat, and Eli glanced again. "Clare, your ass is distracting me," he sighed.

"Eli!"

"Sorry, but it's true," grinned Eli, looking away. "I mean, go ahead, take your time finding that magazine, I don't mind at all."

"You're disgusting," said Clare, holding the magazine in her hands and hitting Eli with it.

"Violence while driving?" frowned Eli. "I am being abused by my girlfriend, someone save me!"

"Oh, poor you," grinned Clare, flipping through the magazine.

Eli truly loved her, loved every single moment they spent together. That was why he felt ready to propose to her. They had been through so much in their relationship, and it only seemed normal to take the next step. He had already told Bullfrog and Cece about his plans, and they were thrilled about it.

He only hoped that Clare's parents would be as thrilled, he knew that they still had some reservations about him. Even Darcy liked him, having met him a couple of years before, and her approval had seemed vital to Clare.

Eli couldn't wait to spend the rest of his life with her. He glanced at Clare, who was reading in silence, and it was as if she could feel his stare. She glanced back at him and smiled, making him notice something.

"Clare-" started Eli, trying to remind her about putting the seat belt back on, and then Clare let out the most terrifying scream he had ever heard.

"Eli!"

_**Crash.**_

Eli didn't see the trailer coming at them; he only felt the impact as the vehicles collided. The car started flipping over, and he felt when his chest hit the steering wheel, the smell of hot metal invading his nostrils.

Clare was screaming at the top of her lungs, and then Eli heard glass breaking, which made the screaming stop. Everything happened exceedingly fast, everything was a blur, and when the car came to a sudden stop, Eli saw no more.

_The stars are out. _

_What's your wish?_

_If I say it out loud, it won't come true. _

_Would it sound cheesy if I tell you that mine already has? _

Eli opened his eyes slowly, and blinked. He could taste blood inside of his mouth, and he tried not to gulp. The car was on the side of the road and Eli wondered if he had just imagined the car flipping over because everything seemed strangely normal. Eli could hear nothing but the hiss of the engine, and his ears started ringing, making him wince.

_Clare._

He turned around and felt a sharp pain run through his leg but tried to ignore it. His heart stopped at the sight of Clare, her head was lying on the dashboard, and blood was all over her face. Her left arm was bleeding too, and he could see the bone poking through her skin.

"Clare," he croaked, his throat burning. She wasn't answering and her eyes were closed, making Eli feel terrified. He looked around the car and noticed that his side was completely smashed in, and he had no idea how they would get out.

"Clare," he insisted, trying to reach out and touch her, but his arm wasn't responding.

Clare's lips parted and Eli saw blood starting to trickle out from the corner of her mouth. "Our father…" she mumbled.

"Clare, are you okay?" asked Eli, his head starting to hurt.

"Our father…"

"Clare!"

Eli heard sirens approaching and he felt relieved, _they were going to be safe_. Clare kept muttering and Eli noticed that she hadn't had time to put her seatbelt back on, and he wondered if Clare would have any serious injuries as a result.

Clare kept mumbling the same words over and over again, and Eli felt uneasy. "Tell me what hurts, Clare," he said, trying to keep both of them awake.

His leg started hurting again, and he glanced at it, almost passing out at the sight. Bone was sticking out of his thigh and he tried not to throw up, focusing on Clare.

He realized with horror that Clare wasn't mumbling anymore, and again he tried to reach out but his arm wasn't cooperating. Clare didn't seem to be breathing, and everything was starting to swirl around him.

For the first time in his life, Eli Goldsworthy started to pray.

_**Later**_

He was afraid of opening his eyes, but the sound of his mother's voice made him do it.

"Cece, the brat woke up!" bellowed Bullfrog excitedly.

"Baby boy, you're awake!" squealed Cece, clutching his hand tightly. "You scared all of us for a moment-"

"Clare… is she okay?"

Bullfrog looked at Cece fearfully and didn't quite meet Eli's eyes. "She hasn't woken up, Eli," explained Cece. "A clot formed in her head and they had to perform emergency surgery to remove it… they are not sure if she's going to make it."

_They are not sure if she's going to make it._

The words pierced Eli's heart, he couldn't handle the thought of losing Clare, not like that.

"The driver who hit you fell asleep," said Bullfrog somberly. "It wasn't your fault."

Eli looked at his parents, and they knew that they wanted to avoid making him feel guilty. "I know it wasn't my fault," said Eli sincerely. "I want to see her."

"Honey, I think that they're only allowing her family in at the moment," said Cece soothingly.

"I'm her boyfriend," snarled Eli, trying to sit up, but Cece stopped him.

"Don't move," she warned.

The pain in his leg startled him and he groaned, feeling dizzy.

"You have a mild concussion; you broke your arm and your leg…" Cece's eyes filled with tears. "You broke your leg in eight different places. They had to perform surgery and place some metal plates and screws in your leg…"

"Now you're going to beep like crazy every time you walk out of a store," chimed in Bullfrog. "That actually sounds cool."

"I don't care about my injuries, I just want to see Clare," snapped Eli.

"I will ask," said Cece. "Just, calm down and rest, okay?"

Eli opened his mouth to protest, but the room started spinning around him again, and he passed out.

_**Later**_

Cece pushed Eli's wheelchair down the hallway, smiling and greeting everyone as she did. When they got closer to Clare's room, Cece touched Eli on the shoulder and sighed. "I want you to prepare yourself for this, okay?" said Cece lovingly. "Clare is in bad shape."

"The first thing they told me as soon as I arrived was to prepare funeral arrangements," Mrs. Edwards was saying angrily as Cece and Eli entered the room. "She is doing better now, and I know that she is going to wake up but that is just so-"

Mrs. Edwards stopped talking at the sight of them, and Eli saw Darcy sitting at the right side of Clare's bed. Clare's head was heavily bandaged, and Eli wondered if they had gotten rid of her beautiful curls.

"Eli, how are you feeling?" asked Mrs. Edwards politely.

"I'm… okay…" said Eli, still in shock at the sight of Clare on the hospital bed. Her face was bruised, and her left arm was bandaged as well.

Cece pushed the wheelchair forward tentatively, and Darcy merely nodded at Eli as he got closer to the bed. He leaned in and kissed Clare on the forehead, wanting to hold her in his arms.

"I love you," muttered Eli, his heart aching.

"Jesus Christ," gasped Mrs. Edwards as Clare slowly opened her eyes.

"Mom?" groaned Clare, and Eli felt extremely relieved.

"Yes, sweetie, I'm here, oh, I have to go find your dad," cried Mrs. Edwards and left the room. Darcy walked to the other side of Clare's bed and grabbed her hand, smiling tearfully.

"What happened?" asked Clare, looking around the room confusedly.

"You got into a wreck with your boyfriend," explained Darcy carefully.

Clare didn't say anything and she continued to look around, wincing in pain. Then she frowned and closed her eyes, licking her lips slowly. "But K.C doesn't drive."

Silence invaded the room as those words escaped Clare's lips, and Eli realized that something was terribly wrong.

"Clare… I'm here," he said, and Clare opened her eyes. There was no recognition in her eyes, none of the love that she always had in them, and Eli felt suddenly numb with horror. Clare started at him blankly, her lower lip trembling as she did, and her lips parted to speak.

"Who are you?"

_**Present day**_

Eli rubbed his forehead and left the table, limping slightly as he did. The doctors said that the limp would be there for a while, and he still used crutches every now and then. The pain would wake him up in the middle of the night, but not having Clare next to him was what hurt the most.

Clare had no recollection of their relationship, of her parents' divorce, of her breakup with K.C. There were several things that she didn't remember, and the doctors said that she probably never would.

He had had a long talk with Clare's parents, and he agreed that he would give Clare some time. He told Clare that she should feel free to call him any time she wanted to talk, but three months had gone by and he hadn't heard from her. He kept in touch with Darcy, who kept him updated, and whenever he asked if Clare had mentioned him at all Darcy would remain silent. Then she would go on about how Clare was making some progress, and that perhaps she would be able to go back to school eventually.

Clare was recovering her life little by little, but Eli's was slipping through his fingers.

In one split second, Eli had lost everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. **

**Author's note: Thank you so much for your reviews and comments. Thank you. Next chapter should make you really happy. This one… maybe. Kind of. Hang in there. **

**A/N 2: This happens on the same day that Eli reminisces about the accident. Just had to point that out. :D  
**

**_Clare_  
**

Clare looked at her reflection in the mirror and ran her fingers over her cheek. The scar was almost invisible now, just slightly darker than the rest of her skin. She glanced at the huge scar on her left arm and cringed at the sight of it. It would never go away, and it just stayed there as a painful reminder.

A reminder of every single thing she lost, a reminder of everything she couldn't remember.

_The irony. _

Darcy had left their apartment earlier that morning, and left a note for Clare on the refrigerator. Darcy wrote that she would be working a double shift at the store where she was working as a sales associate, and Clare winced with guilt.

Her older sister had moved back from Africa to help take care of her, and decided to move in with Clare to help her recover her old life. But Clare knew that Darcy's heart was still in Africa, and she felt guilty about keeping her sister in Toronto. Clare left the apartment, running her fingers nervously through her short hair, wondering if she looked all right.

Clare left the apartment complex and checked her phone as she walked to the bus stop, and saw his text.

_See you soon._

She smiled and just stared at the screen, wondering what he looked like now… if he still had feelings for her. Her teenage years seemed so far yet so close, seeing as how she didn't remember much. Clare hoped that Darcy wouldn't call the apartment to check on her, since she wasn't technically supposed to leave their place on her own.

Clare knew that they didn't trust her yet, that they were afraid that she would forget her way back home.

_Home?_

She didn't have one. Not anymore.

_**Later**_

Clare sat at the restaurant table, glancing around nervously. It was her first outing by herself in a while, with the exception of the few shopping trips with Alli. But now she was waiting for him, wanting to talk to him badly, wanting to set things straight. Her eyes focused on the cutlery in front of her instead, and she looked at the spoon, at the knife, and the-

_What's the name for this? _

Clare sighed, frustrated, as she tried to remember the names for the stainless steel utensil. Life had not been easy for the past three months, as she tried to recover from the car accident. An accident she didn't remember at all.

It was as if the past few years hadn't happened. She closed her eyes, trying to remember something besides a couple of years at Degrassi, but she couldn't. Remembering was a painful exercise, an exercise she was obviously not good at.

She thought briefly of Eli, the sad-looking young man who had been sitting next to her the moment she woke up. She couldn't remember him at all, no matter how hard she tried. Darcy and Alli told her that she had been dating him for years, and Clare felt frustrated with herself for not remembering.

That's why she had avoided calling him for months. She felt guilty, as if she was a bad person for not being able to recall their relationship, and she didn't want to hurt him anymore.

Clare shook her head, trying to remain positive, and focused once more on the cutlery. Spoon, knife… Spoon, knife…

"Clare, you're staring too intensely at that fork."

_Fork. That's right. _

Clare's heart skipped several beats at the sound of K.C's voice, and she raised her head slowly to take a good look at him. He looked older already, his hair much shorter and he looked like he hadn't shaved in days.

"It's been a long time," said K.C as Clare stood up to give him a brief hug. "I was surprised when you called…"

"I'm glad you're here," smiled Clare as both of them sat down at the table. Nothing was said for a couple minutes, and K.C just stared at her in wonder. Clare could feel her cheeks start to blush, so she looked away almost at once.

"How are you?" asked K.C. "I mean… I'm so sorry about the accident… When I heard…"

"I'm better. I'm trying to recover, one day at a time," said Clare. "How much do you know about what happened?"

K.C shrugged, running his fingers through his hair. "Not much. Just that you got in a car wreck with Eli and that you two almost died," said K.C. "That's all… I found out thanks to Drew."

"Drew? Oh… Alli's friend," said Clare, blinking confusedly. Alli had talked about Drew briefly, and Clare had noticed the bitterness in her voice when Alli mentioned him.

"Yeah."

The server walked over to their table and took their order, leaving only an awkward silence behind him. K.C kept glancing at Clare and he finally decided to speak.

"Why did you call me? I mean…" gulped K.C. "We haven't talked in years. Not after what happened with Jenna."

_Jenna? What happened with Jenna?, _wondered Clare. She cleared her throat and looked into K.C's eyes, feeling the familiar heartache she felt every time they were together.

"After the accident… when I woke up," started Clare, tasting the bitter words in her mouth. "I thought that I was still dating you."

K.C frowned, looking confused, and took a sip out of his drink. "Sorry?"

"My memory was affected by the accident," explained Clare. "I don't remember a lot of things. I guess that in my mind, you and I were still dating."

K.C set his drink on the table and said nothing; he just bit his lip nervously as he looked around. "Wow."

"Yeah… it's weird," said Clare, grasping the edge of the table with her hands. "I didn't know my parents were divorced… I didn't know many things… it was like a nightmare. It still is."

"What about Eli?" asked K.C curiously.

Clare looked sadly at K.C and said nothing, and his eyes were filled with recognition. "You don't remember him?"

Clare shook her head, feeling slightly depressed. "I haven't talked to him in months."

"Wow. Wow. I mean, sorry that I have no other words to say, but I'm floored by this." K.C reached out for Clare's hand and squeezed it gently, making her stomach lurch pleasantly.

"When I told Jenna that you had called-"

_What's the deal with Jenna? And why are they talking to each other? _thought Clare angrily.

"She was surprised," continued K.C. "But she wanted me to tell you that you're in her prayers. In our family's prayers."

"What? _Your_ family?" blurted Clare.

K.C sighed deeply, letting go of Clare's hand, and a childish, guilty look appeared on his face. "Jenna and I have a kid together, Clare," he said patiently. "She got pregnant in high school."

Clare started shaking, not daring to believe it. "Wait. Did you cheat on me?"

K.C chuckled nervously and shrugged, grabbing his drink with his hand. "Technically… no. We broke up because I started having feelings for her-"

"So you cheated," deadpanned Clare. "What was I thinking, asking you to come here after all these years and-"

"Clare, you met Eli," said K.C. "You looked so happy with him. And even though you and I never got to talk much after our breakup, I was happy for you. Whenever I saw you with him you looked… I don't know. Complete."

Clare said nothing as she tried to blink back tears. She still had feelings for K.C, she had been looking forward to see him, but he had moved on. Everybody had moved on except her. She was stuck in the dark puddle of her amnesia and there was nothing she could do to get out of it.

"This is surreal," sighed K.C. "I never thought I would be talking to you again, and certainly not in this situation."

"I don't know what I was expecting," said Clare, trying to calm down. "I have to go." She stood up, pushing her chair away briskly, but K.C grabbed her by the wrist.

"Clare, I'm so sorry," he said apologetically. "For everything. For this."

"So am I," said Clare sorrowfully and walked away.

_**Later**_

"Fork. _Fork._ It's not that difficult, Clare Edwards."

She threw the fork in the sink, feeling furious with herself and her life. Clare heard the front door opening and wiped her tears away, trying to push K.C out of her thoughts.

"You were crying," stated Darcy as she soon as she walked into the kitchen. "What's wrong?"

"You're going to get mad at me," sobbed Clare,nnot able to hold back, and Darcy quickly wrapped her arms around her.

"I won't. I promise."

"I went outside today… on my own. To see K.C."

Darcy let go of her and frowned sternly at her, placing her hands on Clare's shoulders and squeezing them tight. "Clare! What if…?"

"I got back home all right," sniffled Clare, the tears still rolling down her cheeks. "But… I… K.C has a kid with Jenna."

"I know," said Darcy somberly. "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you tell me?" snapped Clare.

"Because you were already dealing with too much, and having to relive our parents' divorce was bad enough," said Darcy pragmatically. "That's why. I didn't expect you to go and look for K.C, you know? And I will kill Alli when I see her, because I know she's the one who found out his number."

Darcy wiped Clare's tears away with her sleeve and sighed. "I'm sorry, Clare."

"I just feel so lost, Darcy. So lost."

Darcy just looked at her, looking deep in concentration, the only sound in the room coming from the clock on the wall.

_Tick… tock…_

"I think you should call Eli."

Clare looked at her sister in defeat, knowing that she was right. "I don't know what to say. _I don't know him_."

"But he knows _you_," smiled Darcy. "And I'm sure that he will be pleased to hear from you. Come on, I'll let you borrow my phone."

Darcy took out her phone from one of her pockets and searched for Eli's number, pressing send. She handed it to Clare quickly, a huge smile on her face.

Clare felt her heart starting to beat extremely fast as she held on to the phone, listening to the dial tone, her breathing becoming erratic. She tried to remember the last time she saw Eli's face at the hospital and she couldn't. She only remembered his strikingly green eyes and his expression of sadness when she told him that maybe, someday she would call him back.

There was a slight cough on the other line, and Clare held her breath for a second before speaking.

"Hello?"

"Eli?"

"Darcy?"

A heartbeat, an eternity encapsulated in a split second, and Clare tried to gulp her fears away.

"No. It's Clare."


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

**Author's note: Wow, guys. Thanks for your response to this story! Hopefully this chapter will make you happy. :)**

_**Eli**_

He was lying on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. He hated not going to school, but he had missed some crucial months so he knew he would have to wait another semester. Eli felt useless whenever he didn't have a shift (he worked part-time at a record store, waiting for his leg to heal completely), and he was getting tired of it.

His phone started ringing, probably Adam asking him to take something out of the freezer, so he took his time getting up. He finally did, but tripped with the carpet, making his leg flare up in pain.

He tried to curse but started coughing instead, and he wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. He picked up his phone from the table without looking at the screen and tried to answer it, still coughing.

"Hello?" he croaked.

"Eli?"

"Darcy?"

"No. It's Clare."

Eli almost snapped the phone in half from holding it tight against his ear. He couldn't believe that Clare was finally calling him, and he wondered if his medication was making him hallucinate.

"Eli? Are you there?"

_Yes, I'm here. I've always been here, waiting._

"Yeah, sorry, I almost killed myself tripping with the carpet."

"Sorry?"

_Smooth, Elijah, very smooth._

"Just ignore me. Wow. You called."

"Sorry it took me so long."

Eli waited, hanging on to the phone like hanging on to dear life. Did she remember him? If not, why was she calling? Did she want to tell him to just forget about their life together and move on?

"It's okay, we're talking right now. That's all that matters."

"Do you want to meet… and talk? In person?"

"Yes, sure. Where do you want to meet?"

"It's up to you."

Eli closed his eyes, wanting to hold Clare in his arms badly, and then he heard the front door opening. Adam walked in, looking extremely tired and Eli pointed at the phone meaningfully. Adam's eyes widened and he grinned, giving Eli a thumbs-up.

"Um, do you remember the Dot?" asked Eli, immediately regretting his choice of words.

"Yes, I do, Do you want to meet there?"

"Sure. When?"

They were being extremely polite with each other, and Eli felt uneasy.

"Is tomorrow okay with you?"

_Today, tomorrow, right now,_ thought Eli.

"Sounds great. Around five?"

"Darcy will have to drop me off and pick me up, so it will be kind of a short meeting, she has to work."

"I can give you a ride home, if you want to."

"No, that's okay. Um… okay, I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"See you tomorrow, Clare."

They hung up at the same time and Eli just stared at his phone in complete disbelief. Adam walked over to him and patted him heavily on the shoulder, looking thrilled.

"She finally called!" said Adam excitedly. "Does she remember you? Did she ask about me?"

"No, I mean, I don't know… we just talked briefly," said Eli pensively. "We're meeting tomorrow."

"Well, that's great," said Adam cheerfully. "At least you will get to see her again."

"That's the thing… what if it's the last time I'll ever see her?" mused Eli fearfully.

"What do you mean?" asked Adam.

"Maybe she just wants to let go or something," sighed Eli, putting his phone down. "Like… give me closure."

"And then I'm the pessimist," said Adam, rolling his eyes. "Dude, don't stress about it. Just go with it."

Eli turned to look at Adam, and said something that had been going through his mind for a while. "Adam… how do you face the love of your life knowing that you're a complete stranger to them?"

Adam considered the question and frowned, deep in thought. He finally looked at Eli and shrugged.

"Just look at her in the eye, Eli. Everything will be okay."

_**Clare**_

She walked into The Dot feeling flustered, and she looked around the place, trying to recognize Eli. She spotted him at one of the tables at the very back, reading, and she walked over to him, biting her lip nervously. The last time she saw him he had been on a wheelchair, wearing a hospital gown, with bruises all over his face.

Eli looked different from the few memories she had of him; his longish hair was all over his face and he was wearing nothing but black clothes. Clare really didn't know him at all, and she wanted to run away all of a sudden.

Eli raised his head and looked at her, and Clare couldn't leave. The way his face lit up at the sight of her broke her heart, and she simply walked over to him.

"Hey," said Eli as Clare sat across from him.

"Hi, Eli," she said timidly. "How are you?"

"Oh, you know," shrugged Eli, and closed his book.

Clare looked at the cover and smiled as she did. "Oh, Fight Club! I like that book. Palahniuk is amazing."

"We went to an event where he was the speaker," said Eli nonchalantly. "A few years ago."

"Did we?" asked Clare, surprised.

"Yeah… that was a quite interesting night," smiled Eli. "Our first official date. We got matching piercings and all."

"What?" gasped Clare. "That doesn't sound like me."

"Oh, it wasn't you, not quite," said Eli, clutching the book nervously. "You were going through a rough time with your parents fighting and for a moment there you kind of lost it."

"Ah."

They were both silent and Clare didn't know what to say. Eli had so many memories of them while she had none, and Clare wondered if Eli resented her for that.

"I'll go get us some coffee," said Eli awkwardly and stood up.

Clare stared after him and then buried her face in her hands, feeling completely miserable. With K.C she felt disappointed and hurt, and with Eli she felt as if she was the one hurting him. She didn't like the feeling, and she felt sorry and guilty, the mixed emotions slowly pushing her over the edge.

_Why can't you remember him, Clare? Why?_

She heard a slight thump in front of her and she noticed that Eli had placed a mug in front of her. "Thanks," she mumbled.

"No problem," said Eli, drinking his coffee.

Clare took a sip, and it was perfect. Eli knew everything about her, and she knew nothing, adding to the guilt Clare was already feeling.

"So… um, are you going to school?" asked Clare. "I really want to go back."

"Not right now," sighed Eli. "I missed most of this semester because of the accident, so… I have to wait. I'm just working part-time at a record store right now.

"Sounds fun," said Clare.

"It's a blast," said Eli sardonically.

Clare remained silent, feeling the tension in the air. "I'm really sorry I didn't call before, Eli."

"That's fine," replied Eli, staring at his coffee mug. "But why did you call me? Why did you want to meet?"

"I just wanted to see you," said Clare sincerely.

"I've missed you, Clare."

Clare didn't know what to say so she took another sip, and placed the mug delicately on the table. "I think that you could help me… I feel so lost and confused lately, and you were an important part of my life. I think… that you are vital to me, in a way."

Eli sighed deeply, rubbing his temple with his finger. "I want to help you," said Eli. "I want to help you remember… I'm just terrified of what will happen if you don't. Because if you don't remember me... I mean, I really doubt that I will ever forget you, if that makes any sense."

Eli's words pierced Clare's heart, he sounded so wounded and depressed, and she knew that they both needed each other. She didn't know how she knew it, she just did.

"Are you mad at me?" asked Clare sadly.

"At you? No, Clare, why should I be?" grimaced Eli. "I'm mad at what happened to us. We were happy, we had everything going for us, and it was taken away, just like that. I'm pissed off at the world at moment, but not you."

"Maybe it happened for a reason," said Clare, trying to make Eli feel better. "Maybe God-"

"Clare, you know that I don't believe in god," said Eli scathingly, but his face fell after saying those words. "Sorry, I... Sorry."

A few minutes went by, both of them silent.

"I don't know you at all, do I?" stated Clare, and Eli remained silent. "But I... I want to get to know you."

"Do you really?" asked Eli.

"I'll be like a kid," said Clare, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "You can use flashcards and pretty pictures to help me remember."

Eli just smirked, saying nothing.

"I don't remember anything from the accident," said Clare sheepishly. "But I really want to-"

Eli's smirk became more pronounced, his eyes focused on his cup of coffee. "What?" asked Clare, feeling affronted.

"It's funny how you want to remember an incident I would rather forget," said Eli dryly.

Clare frowned as Eli sipped on his coffee, dead silent. Did he want to forget about her as well? Maybe he was in the process of getting over her and she was just getting in his way of doing so. She gulped as Eli continued to be silent, and cleared her throat.

"Eli, if you want to… see other people… I won't hold it against you," said Clare shyly. "I mean, I can't guarantee that I will ever… you know."

Eli finally looked at her and their eyes met, making Clare feel nervous and excited all at the same time. His eyes were full of intense pain, and she couldn't stop staring at them.

"You can't ask me that," said Eli, resting his arms on the table. "Please, don't ask me to do that."

His eyes then focused on Clare's arm, and she realized that her scar was completely exposed. She tried to cover it with her sleeve, but Eli grabbed her arm gently, stopping her from doing it. Clare bit her lip as Eli's fingers brushed the scar, touching it tentatively.

Clare just looked at him, at his sad expression, wanting to remember him in that moment so that all the pain would go away. His fingers over her skin were making her feel all warm inside, and she wanted for the moment to last forever.

"We definitely need to do this again," she squeaked.

Eli let go of her arm and looked at her curiously. "Do what?"

"Go out… talk… like this," said Clare, blushing immediately. To her relief, Eli smiled at her and nodded.

"I would love that," he agreed, and Clare smiled back. She felt so nervous around him; it was a reaction she couldn't quite explain. She glanced at his lips and felt incredibly attracted to them… to him.

Eli grabbed his coffee mug and brought it to his lips, bringing Clare out of her daze. "Darcy is waiting for you," he noted, and Clare glanced at the window, seeing Darcy's car parked outside.

Both of them stood up and just looked at each other awkwardly. "Will you call me?" asked Clare, full of hope.

"I will," said Eli. "I promise."

Clare gave him a small smile and started to walk away, feeling cheerful. But something didn't feel quite right, so she turned around to face him again and saw that he was still looking at her. She walked over to him and he raised an eyebrow as she got really close to him.

"I will be expecting your call," she breathed, and kissed him on the cheek. His skin was so warm against her lips, and she felt a sudden desire to kiss him on the lips in front of everyone. But she pulled away and saw that he was looking at her amusedly and smirked, seemingly pleased.

"I will see you soon, Clare Edwards," he said.

Their eyes met for a last time and Clare walked away rather reluctantly. She walked out of The Dot and walked over to Darcy's car, smiling broadly. She got into the car and Darcy chuckled, noticing her expression.

"I'm guessing things went well?" asked Darcy shrewdly.

Clare simply smiled and nodded, and closed her eyes, thinking of Eli.

"Darcy… this is going be interesting."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

**Author's note: Thank YOU for giving my "happy" story a chance. Well, my attempt at a happier story, I'm usually so angsty, hehe. You are all so so amazing. **

**Also: Thanks again to V. and M., the couple who inspired this story. I bothered them again with questions and they replied to them with infinite patience, not sad about reliving the past but quite the opposite. I want to share with you something that V. told me the other day: **

**"I can't be sad or upset about what happened. M and I have been married for almost 18 years now, it was just something we had to go through, something that tested our relationship. Our children also became stronger people because of it **_**(A/N: Their kids were in the car when the accident happened as well).**_**We had to go through it to be the people who we are now, to be the parents we are now. It made me realize how fragile life is and how important M and my children are to me. If could turn back time, I wouldn't change a thing. Not even an accident, not even memory loss were able to destroy my relationship with M. She is the love of my life, no doubt about it. All I can say is that our story shouldn't be considered a tragedy. Plus, I get to use a cane now and my students find it delightful, haha."**

**What can I say? I'm grateful to have this couple in my life. Now, back to the story! Sorry if I have mistakes, my aunt kept yelling at the TV while I was writing and I couldn't concentrate :P **

_**-Two weeks later-**_

_**Eli**_

_Metal crashing against metal…_

_Clare's screams…_

_His body hitting the steering wheel, a scream of pain escaping his lips…_

_The car kept flipping and there was nothing he could do about it._

_Clare!_

Eli opened his eyes and sat on his bed quickly, his body drenched in cold sweat. He was breathing hard, the images of the accident still too vivid and real… He looked around the room and realized that he wasn't in the car anymore, and he buried his face in his hands sorrowfully.

He started to get nauseous and jumped out of bed, running to the bathroom. He kneeled down next to the toilet and threw up, his head aching, his eyes burning.

"Eli? Are you okay?" asked Adam anxiously, standing at the doorway.

Eli wiped his mouth with his sleeve, gasping for breath. He retched again, and his throat started burning as his knee started aching under his weight.

"I'm fine," gasped Eli. "I just… had a nightmare about the accident."

"Sorry, dude," said Adam. "Let me bring you some water."

Eli flushed the toilet as Adam left, and stood up. His leg started hurting, but Eli tried to ignore the pain as he brushed his teeth. He glanced at his reflection and saw the dark circles under his eyes. Adam walked in, holding a cup and Eli noticed the worry in his best friend's eyes.

"I'm okay, Adam," said Eli, taking the cup from Adam's hand. "Maybe I'm just anxious."

"About your date tonight?" asked Adam, raising his eyebrows. "Oh, come on. It's not your first date with Clare, and you guys have pretty much seen each other every single day for the past two weeks."

Eli drank from the cup and the cold water provided relief to his aching throat. Eli smiled weakly, remembering those brief talks with Clare at the Dot where she asked him all sorts of questions. He had had to explain the whole Julia ordeal again, just to find that Clare was still sympathetic and understanding. When they discussed Vegas night, Clare was a little upset, but seemed relieved that nothing had happened to Eli that night.

It was strange having to answer Clare's questions about her own life, but Eli didn't care. He felt happy just spending time with her, and she seemed to be more confident every time they met.

The last time they had met at the Dot, after briefly discussing his struggles with hoarding, Eli had gathered enough courage to ask her out on an official date. Clare had looked at him curiously, and Eli's heart had dropped at the thought that maybe she didn't see him that way anymore. But she agreed, and Eli felt warm just remembering her nervous smile, her red cheeks.

"Well, it is our first date… at least to her," said Eli, putting the glass down. "I'm kind of freaking out. I know it sounds ridiculous."

"As long as you guys don't get matching tattoos," winked Adam.

"Hey, who knows?" mocked Eli. "Come on, go back to sleep. You have work early tomorrow."

"Okay, Dad," pouted Adam sardonically. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," nodded Eli. "Get out of here."

Adam patted him awkwardly on the shoulder and walked away. Eli turned off the bathroom light and walked back to his bedroom, a dull pain lingering in his head. He sat on his bed, trying to relax, but he knew that he wouldn't be able to fall asleep. He glanced at his alarm clock and grimaced when he saw that it was four in the morning.

"Awesome," he muttered bitterly, and lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.

_**Later**_

"A hearse."

"His name is Morty, don't hurt his feelings," chuckled Eli as Clare stared at the hearse, her eyes wide in surprise.

"You have never mentioned it- him," said Clare as Eli opened the passenger door for her. "I never saw, um, _Morty,_ parked around the Dot."

"Because I always park far away… parking spots are difficult to find for my old man," said Eli pragmatically.

"Well… it's interesting," said Clare finally, and got in. Eli walked around and opened his door, still feeling nervous.

"What are we doing?" asked Clare curiously as Eli started driving.

"We are going to watch a movie at the old theatre," said Eli, focusing on the road ahead. "We're going to watch the first movie we ever saw together."

"Oh, really? Which one?"

Eli smiled, glancing at her. "_Trainspotting_."

He could almost see Clare's confused expression, trying to remember if she had seen or heard about that movie before.

"I let you borrow the book years ago, we had just started dating… it's by Irvine Welsh," explained Eli. "Then, when we were discussing the book, I casually mentioned that the film adaptation was one of my favorite movies. You wanted to see it badly, so we went to the old theatre when they were having a 'Movie night with Ewan McGregor.' You made me stay to watch _Moulin Rouge_; I still haven't forgiven you for that one."

"Oh, I love Moulin Rouge!" squealed Clare.

"I am aware of that," mocked Eli. "Sadly."

"Did I like the book? Did I like the movie?" inquired Clare.

Eli was about to answer her, but caught himself. "Well… you'll have to wait and see."

"You're such a tease," pouted Clare, and Eli stopped at a red light.

Clare's hand was on the seat, and Eli reached out for it, clutching it softly. Clare looked at him and their eyes met for what seemed an eternity, and Clare blushed.

"You look so beautiful tonight," said Eli. "I mean, you always do, but…"

"Thanks," mumbled Clare, and she looked away. "Oh, green light."

Eli cursed traffic lights under his breath as he let go of Clare's hand, and started driving again.

_**Clare**_

"It was so… wow! I mean, I never expected a movie about drugs to be so haunting, so deep, so… wow!"

Clare absolutely loved the movie, even if the subject matter was a bit out of her comfort zone and some of the graphic scenes made her squirm. At a crucial scene during the film, she had freaked out slightly and hid her face in Eli's shoulder, and he just held her hand in the darkness. She felt safe at his touch, and when she raised her head to look at him, their faces had been way too close.

Clare wanted to kiss him then and there, but it didn't seem appropriate.

"So, you really liked it, huh?" asked Eli, looking amused.

"Yes, it was so good!" said Clare as they walked down the street, surrounded by the people who were exiting the nearby stores.

"This is really funny," chuckled Eli as they walked side by side. He dug his hands in his pockets and continued to chuckle, and Clare grabbed him by the arm.

"What's so funny?" she asked.

"Well… the first time we saw it, you hated it," grinned Eli. "Wait, hate is an understatement. You_ loathed _it."

"What?" gasped Clare. "That's not possible!"

"You kept going on and on that it was nothing like the book, that it was the worst adaptation ever," continued Eli, entertained by Clare's reaction. "Oh, you ranted about that one for days."

"That is so weird," said Clare, and Eli suddenly stopped.

"Look," he said, pointing at a tattoo parlor. "That's where we got the matching piercings."

Clare walked over to the display window, touching the glass gently with her fingers. Eli stood next to her, silent, and she was amazed at the person she had been.

"I can't believe I did that," said Clare quietly.

"I still wear mine," said Eli, and Clare looked over at him. He pushed his hair behind his ear and Clare noticed the earring.

"I'm not," she said absentmindedly, touching her own ear. "Why?"

"You did until the day of the accident," shrugged Eli. "I guess… it got lost? Maybe at the hospital?"

"Maybe," said Clare, and returned her attention to the display window.

"Everything got lost that day, huh," stated Clare after a few seconds of silence.

"You could say that," said Eli in a serious tone.

Clare turned to face him again, feeling immensely sad. "You lost me, and yet, I didn't lose you."

"It's not like you died, Clare," sighed Eli. "Even if you never remember me, even if you never love me again, you're still here. That's enough for me."

But Clare noticed the hesitation in his eyes, his quivering lip, and she felt her heart starting to beat faster.

"Eli… did I kiss you on our first date?"

She didn't know where she got the nerve to ask him that question, and blushed almost at once. But she had wondered about it for days, and every second they had spent at the Dot she had thought about it.

Eli seemed surprised at her question, and smiled wryly. "To be honest, we kissed before that. For the Romeo and Juliet project. Remember when I told you about it?"

"Oh, right," said Clare, feeling stupid. "Right."

"Why?" asked Eli, trying to remain serious.

"I just wanted to know," she said as he moved closer to her.

"I see."

She looked up to him even though he wasn't much taller than her, and looking into his eyes was like looking into his soul. He seemed a bit scared and nervous, just like her, and this amused her.

"But to answer your question, yes," said Eli, his lips too close to hers. "You did kiss me on our first date. It was contraband kissing."

"Contraband kissing?" gulped Clare as Eli's nose brushed against hers.

"Mhm," said Eli, and pressed his lips softly against hers.

Clare's lips started burning as Eli started to kiss her slowly, and she quickly wrapped her arms around him. She felt dizzy, light-headed, thrilled, confused and many other emotions she couldn't name. Kissing Eli felt new and intense, and she wondered why she couldn't remember his kisses.

They kissed for a long minute, and Clare truly enjoyed the sensation of his lips on hers. Eli pulled away slowly, as if not wanting to stop, and he chuckled. "The contraband kissing is still amazing," he said, clearing his throat.

"You have to explain this contraband kissing thing, you know," smiled Clare, her arms still around Eli. Eli rubbed the small of her back, his eyes exploring Clare's face hungrily. They were so different, and even though Eli had opened up to her several times, he was still a mystery to her. And she couldn't wait to know more about him.

"Maybe on our second date," said Eli, and Clare felt elated.

She kissed him again, and they both held on to each other, kissing in front of a place she didn't remember, after watching a movie she loved but apparently hated before the accident. Clare was kissing the guy who everybody said was the love of her life, and she was starting to think that maybe they were right.

She was already falling for him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. **

**Author's note: I only have a couple of chapters left for this story, so that's why it's a bit fast-paced. If you've read my stuff before, you know that I don't like to drag stuff on. By the way, I posted a Flare one-shot… Yeah, I know, I know. I don't ship them, but it was just something going on in my mind. The name is Mona Lisa, feel free to read!**

**Thanks again to V and M, the last scene in this chapter (the one in Eli's POV) is all them. **

_**-Two weeks later- **_

_**Eli **_

Clare and Eli sat on the floor of his living room, going through boxes and boxes of pictures. "I went through a denim-crazy phase, oh my," said Clare, looking at a photo.

They had been going out almost every day since their first date, and when Eli suggested to Clare that they should look at some old high school photographs, she had jumped excitedly at the idea.

Clare still had no recollection of their relationship, but at least they were together, and that's all that mattered to Eli.

"I always thought you looked cute," said Eli, putting some pictures away. He looked at one of them where Clare was kissing him on the cheek, and his own eyes were closed. It was his favorite picture of them.

"Look," he said, handing her the picture. Clare looked at it and smiled, and leaned over to give him a kiss on the cheek.

They continued to look through pictures when suddenly Eli felt Clare moving closer to him. "Yes?" he asked cheekily.

"Nothing, I just like studying your face," she said shyly.

"That's not weird at all," grinned Eli, and leaned in to kiss her. She kissed him back rather forcefully, and he was surprised at her eagerness. Eli deepened the kiss at once, and pushed the boxes away.

He lay on top of her, pressing his body against hers gently, kissing her. He could hear the rustle of the pictures beneath their bodies, but he didn't care. He started to slide his hands underneath Clare's dress when the door opened.

"Jesus, no baby-making in front of the celibate!" groaned Adam, dropping his backpack and covering his face with his hands.

"You're early," muttered Eli as he let go of Clare, who looked embarrassed. "Clare… this is Adam Torres."

"Can I see now?" groaned Adam, his hands still on his face.

"Yes," said Eli impatiently.

"Hi, Clare!" said Adam as Clare stood up to greet him. "You're finally lucky enough to meet me… again."

Clare giggled and gave Adam a quick hug. "Nice to meet you," said Clare. "Eli told me that you and I got into trouble all the time."

"Nah, we just broke into people's bedrooms without their consent," mocked Adam. "You look good, Clare."

"Thanks," blushed Clare. Eli noticed that Adam's eyes were shining with tears and he stood up.

"I think that Adam wants to hug you again," muttered Eli into Clare's ear.

"I do what I want," snapped Adam playfully, blinking.

"Oh…" said Clare, and opened her arms to Adam. Adam hugged her tightly and broke down completely in Clare's arms.

"I should sue both of you," sniffled Adam. "All the emotional distress I've been through since you two started dating."

They all laughed at Adam's comment, and Adam finally let go of Clare. "Okay, okay, I will leave so you two can have your _sexy times_," said Adam, wiping away his tears. "I'm going out with a friend."

"You have other friends?" smirked Eli. "I'm hurt. Hurt and betrayed. Clare, my hearts is breaking right now."

"You're so hilarious," said Adam, rolling his eyes. "Really. Okay, I have to go change. Make sure you keep your clothes on until I leave."

Adam walked away and Eli heard his bedroom door closing, and he turned to face Clare. "So…?" he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"He's still here," snapped Clare playfully as Eli kissed her swiftly on the neck.

"Done!" said Adam, storming out of his room.

"Dude, you only changed your shirt," noted Eli, holding on to Clare.

Adam shrugged. "Nice to see you, Clare, make sure you grace us with your presence in this household again."

"I will try," smiled Clare.

"Goodbye, people!" said Adam cheerfully, and walked out of the apartment, closing the door after him.

"He's gone!" said Eli excitedly, and searched for Clare's lips. Clare pushed him away gently, not looking at him, and Eli frowned.

"What's wrong?" he asked cautiously.

"Can we sit?" said Clare, holding his hand.

Eli nodded and they both sat on the couch, and Eli felt suddenly nervous. Clare's legs were on his lap, with Eli running his hand over them since Clare was wearing a dress.

"I'm listening," said Eli, waiting.

Clare cleared her throat, and her face went bright red. "I don't think we've talked about this yet, I've been avoiding it. I never thought that we would actually get back together, you know? I was hesitant. One thing I noticed after the accident… well… I noticed that I wasn't wearing my purity ring."

"Oh."

Clare gulped when their eyes met, and Eli rested his hand on Clare's knee. "Eli, did we…?" She stopped talking and merely bit her lip. "Did I sleep with you?"

Eli knew that Clare didn't remember anything, but for some reason, this bothered him. She had forgotten the nervousness of that night, of how their lips had met over and over again with patient trust, her eyes shining with tears at the sudden pain, and their naked bodies holding each other afterward.

She didn't remember one of the best nights in Eli's life. Maybe he was being selfish.

"Yes."

Clare's face went pale, then red again, and she wasn't able to look at him. "Did we just do it once?" she said in a terrified voice.

Eli couldn't help but burst out laughing, and his hand resumed the caressing of Clare's legs.

"Oh, Clare."

"Sorry, I was wondering." She stared at her ring-less finger and Eli realized that it was a bigger deal than he thought.

"Are you… disappointed?" he asked, and she shook her head.

"I'm just sad I don't remember."

"I'm sad too."

They both sat in silence, with Eli enjoying the sensation of Clare's skin against his fingertips.

"I really like you, Eli," said Clare, her words reverberating in the small room.

"I love you, Clare."

Clare moved closer to him, her legs still on his lap, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I want you to kiss me."

"Oh, do you?" teased Eli, and sucked on Clare's lower lip.

"Yes," she muttered, and Eli obeyed eagerly.

They kissed intensely, and at some point, Eli's lips started to hurt, but he continued to kiss Clare with all his might. His hand started going under Clare's dress, and he waited for her to push him away.

But she didn't, and he felt thrilled.

_**Clare**_

She had never felt that way before, so flustered and… _sexy_. Eli's hand was sliding under her dress and it shocked her that she didn't mind at all. She wanted to be with him, and it scared her.

Clare remembered noticing the absence of her purity ring two weeks after the accident, and when she asked Darcy about it, she had only shrugged at her. In the back of her mind, she had wanted to lose her virginity to K.C at some point, so the fact that she had slept with someone else puzzled her.

"Clare?"

Clare's thoughts came back to the present and Eli's green eyes were looking into hers. She pulled him closer to her, and moaned when his body was on top of hers. Eli sucked on her neck, and then moved her cardigan so he could kiss every spot on her collarbone.

He placed one of his hands on Clare's breast, squeezing slightly, and she wanted him to do more. She didn't know how to ask, so she just ran her fingers through his hair, biting her lip as he continued to tease her skin with his tongue.

"Do you trust me?" asked Eli suddenly, looking into her eyes.

The question bewildered her, not because of its nature, but because of the answer she was about to give him.

"Yes. Yes, I trust you."

She felt how his hand went under her dress, his fingers brushing her thigh. Eli's hands soon reached the outline of her panties, and Clare held her breath.

"_What are you doing?"_ she gasped as his hand slid under her underwear and started to touch her.

"I think you know. I know you might not be ready to sleep with me, but I just want you to… I just want you to be intimate with me again, even if it's only like this."

Eli stopped talking and kissed her again, and Clare felt when his fingers pushed inside of her. She expected it to hurt, but it didn't, and she just felt extremely warm.

"_Eli_," she sighed rapturously as Eli started sucking on her neck again. His fingers started moving faster and she tugged on Eli's hair, her lips parted as she moaned softly.

Eli stopped kissing her neck and moved to her earlobe, which he nibbled gently. The sensations were too much for Clare, and she held on to him as her body started shaking, a loud moan escaping her lips.

"I can't… I can't breathe…" she gasped, Eli's fingers still inside of her.

"That was the goal," he smirked, and kissed her, his tongue darting into her mouth slowly. They kissed for a while, and Eli removed his hand, making Clare miss the connection at once.

"I have to go to the bathroom," said Eli, and Clare noticed a slight blush on his cheeks. "I'll… be right back."

Eli left the couch and Clare couldn't stop blushing, her mind still reeling from what had happened.

Clare closed her eyes, feeling suddenly exhausted, and drifted off.

_**Eli**_

He couldn't believe that Clare was sleeping next to him, even if it was in a pure and chaste way. Just being able to hold her in his arms, in his own bed (the bed they always shared whenever she stayed over) was a miracle.

They were both alive, and even if the aftermath of the accident had been less than pleasant, they had managed to stay together... in a way.

And then Clare started shaking.

"Clare?" he asked nervously, but she was mumbling in her sleep, and Eli held her closer.

"Clare! Wake up!" he snapped.

Clare was sobbing, her eyes still closed, and Eli finally heard what she was muttering about.

"Our father…" she mumbled, the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Our father…"

Flashbacks of the accident started invading Eli's mind, but he pushed them away. Clare needed him.

"Honey, wake up," he pleaded, muttering into her ear.

"Our father…"

"Clare!"

Clare's eyes opened and she pushed Eli away brusquely, making him fall off the bed. He hit his injured leg on the floor and groaned in pain, and he could only listen to Clare's hysterical sobs as he lay face down.

"Clare," he muttered against the floor and heard the springs of the bed creak under Clare's weight.

"Are you okay?" she sniffled from somewhere in the room.

"I'm fine. Just wonderful."

"Sorry, the nightmare was so vivid."

"We can talk about it… but can you help me get up?"

"Oh, yes, yes!"

Clare got off the bed and was soon next to him. Eli held on to her hand and he got up, wincing slightly.

"Your leg?" asked Clare, and Eli tried to adjust his eyes to the darkness of his bedroom. The moonlight was coming through his window and he could see Clare's eyes in the middle of the dark. This brought him comfort, and he kissed her softly on the lips.

"Yeah, I hit it when you pushed me," mocked Eli.

"I am so sorry," blubbered Clare, and Eli touched her cheek, which was still wet with tears.

"Don't worry about it. What did you see?" he asked, and sat on the bed. Clare sat next to him and they held hands as Clare tried to regain her breath.

"I just heard a crash and everything was dark," she said, her voice weak. "And the blood, oh, Eli, I could smell the blood."

Eli said nothing and just clutched Clare's hand, ignoring the stabbing pain in his leg.

"And I could hear your voice. You were calling my name over and over."

Eli started shaking at the breakthrough. Clare was at last remembering the accident, and although it wasn't the most pleasant memory, it was something.

"Sorry, Clare. I'm sorry that you had that nightmare."

"Just hold me, okay?"

"Okay."

They both lay on the bed, holding each other. Clare's panicked breathing started slowing down and Eli kissed her on the forehead lovingly.

"We're okay, Clare. We got out of that car," he said quietly.

"You did. I didn't. I'm still there, and I don't know how to get out."

"Well, I'm here. I'll help you, okay. I will never let go of you, and I promise you that I will never leave."

"Thanks, Eli."

Eli listened to Clare's breathing, and tried to focus on it instead of the throbbing pain in his leg. Clare finally fell asleep but Eli was wide-awake, thinking of everything and nothing.

Full recovery seemed so far away, and he was growing impatient.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

**Author's note: Thanks for reading! This chapter is a bit shorter than the rest, hehe. Chapter 7 will be the last chapter, and I can't be grateful enough for all your reviews.**

**And to answer a question: Yes, when Clare mutters "Our father…" in both her accident and dream, she is referring to the Lord's prayer. That part is based on the real-life couple, when they had the crash, that was all she could say. :(**

_**-A couple of days later-**_

_**Clare**_

Clare pushed the cart down the grocery aisle, looking at the shelves in concentration.

"You really don't have to cook for me," insisted Eli for the gazillionth time.

"I saw your refrigerator," snapped Clare cheerfully. "You guys eat the worst food in the world."

She grabbed a couple of pasta boxes and threw them in the cart, ignoring Eli's pleas. She also felt bad about Eli's leg, since he had been in pain since she pushed him off the bed.

"Frozen pizza is delicious," mocked Eli, kissing her gently on the cheek.

"I'm sure it is, but I really want to do this," she said. "So stop protesting and let me shop."

"Okay, but I'm paying," said Eli stubbornly.

"Eli, shut up."

Eli chuckled as they moved to another aisle, and took his cell phone out of his pocket. "Do you need me to get anything? Like in another aisle?"

"Are you trying to run away from me?" sighed Clare sardonically.

"Never." Eli leaned in and kissed her on the lips, and Clare giggled. Eli made her feel so loved and protected, and she enjoyed being with him. Her feelings for him were now more complicated, but she wanted to find the right time to let him know.

Someone tugged on the back of Clare's blouse and she stopped kissing Eli. "Oops, a kid," muttered Eli as they both turned around. A little girl with blonde hair was staring right at them, her honey-brown eyes shining with sadness.

"I can't find my mommy," the little girl pouted, and Clare guessed that she was around five years old.

"Reese!"

Clare recognized the voice at once, and felt Eli stiffen up at the sight of K.C and Jenna. K.C still looked tired and worn, but Jenna looked like her usual shiny self.

"Reese, don't ever run away from me like- Oh my goodness, Clare Edwards!" squealed Jenna, hugging her. Clare felt extremely uncomfortable and just patted her awkwardly in the back. Jenna had a lot of nerve, after what she had done. Clare had to remind herself that it had happened in the past, that everybody had dealt with it, except her.

"You look amazing, like nothing happened," grinned Jenna, and K.C held Reese's hand.

"Hey," he said simply, not looking directly at Clare or Eli.

"Seriously, Clare, you look stunning," continued Jenna, and Clare felt a sudden desire to punch her.

"Nice to see the happy family and all," drawled Eli. "But we are in a hurry."

"So, you're back together now?" asked K.C, and Clare saw the sincere happiness in his eyes.

"Yeah…" started Clare.

Jenna squealed again, looking thrilled. "Oh my gosh, you remembered him? K.C told me all about it, when you two had that lunch together, about you losing your memory, how awful that must have been and-"

"Jenna," said K.C in a warning tone.

"We really have to go," said Clare dryly, and glanced at Reese one more time. That little girl had been the product of Clare's heartache, and that was a rather curious thought. Reese smiled at her, her dimples tremendously charming, and Clare smiled back.

They said goodbye and Clare and Eli walked away in complete silence. Eli wasn't looking at her; he just seemed to be thinking about something.

"The girl looks just like K.C," said Clare conversationally as they approached the registers.

"So you two met for lunch?" asked Eli casually. "When?"

Eli seemed slightly jealous, and Clare found it very amusing.

"Oh, it was a while ago," explained Clare. "I had lunch with him and talked about what happened with us… and then later that day I called you."

"Ah. I see."

Eli seemed to be struggling, and as they waited in line, he turned around to face her. "If K.C had been willing to be with you… would you have called me?" he asked, a pained look on his face.

"I don't know," said Clare sincerely. "I didn't know you… and K.C was all I knew. I would have called you eventually, I suppose."

"Huh." Eli seemed upset, and Clare wrapped her arms around his waist in reassurance.

"Stop dwelling in the past," she said. "I know that that is easy for me to say, but I'm with you. I don't see myself being with anyone else."

"Are you sure?" asked Eli, his eyes piercing hers.

"I'm really, really sure."

Eli's expression changed and he smiled at her, not a smirk, but a warm, loving smile.

"I'm glad, Clare. So glad."

_**Later**_

"Oh my God!" screamed Clare, dropping the spatula and running out of the kitchen.

Eli was in the living room, going through some boxes, and walked over to her in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"A spider, Eli, a huge spider," she said in horror. "I hate them so much!"

"Jesus, Clare, I thought you had injured yourself or something," chuckled Eli, and walked into the kitchen. Clare followed him tentatively, not wanting to see the spider again.

"Ahhh!" she exclaimed when she noticed the medium-sized spider on the floor. "Kill it, Eli!"

Eli started laughing at Clare's reaction and merely stepped on it, making Clare cringe. "You didn't have to step on it!"

"Clare, you wanted me to kill it," smirked Eli, wiping off his shoe on the floor. "Can you hand me something to pick it up with?"

Clare handed him the closest thing she could see, an old newspaper, and handed it to him, keeping her distance.

"Be careful," she said quietly as Eli started picking up the remains of the spider.

"Don't worry, Clare," said Eli mockingly. "I think it's dead."

With those words, Clare's head started hurting and the fleeting memory of a parking lot encounter came to mind.

She tried to say something, but words failed her.

_**Eli**_

He picked up the dead spider with a piece of old newspaper and threw it in the garbage can. He turned to face Clare, who was suddenly very pale.

"Clare?"

She was leaning against the wall, looking extremely confused. Her eyes were dull and her lips were parted in shock. Eli walked over to her and grabbed by the wrists, frowning.

"Are you okay? It was only a spider and it's dead."

Clare looked at him, trembling slightly. "You have pretty eyes."

Eli raised an eyebrow at Clare, trying not to laugh. "Um… thanks?"

Clare looked him in the eye and shook her head. "That's what you said to me the day we met, in the parking lot. _You have pretty eyes_."

The silence between them felt heavy, as both looked into their eyes, trying to understand the enormity of Clare's words. Eli was completely shocked, and he couldn't let go of Clare's wrists.

Eli was suddenly unable to breathe, and he gulped, starting in disbelief at his girlfriend. "How did you… Did you just…?" he mumbled.

"You ran over my glasses," said Clare, her eyes shining with tears.

"Sorry," said Eli breathlessly.

"You're forgiven," said Clare, still very pale. "It's so clear now. How we met. I can't remember anything else at the moment, but… it's a start, right?"

"Oh, Clare," groaned Eli, and kissed her fervently. Clare flung her arms around his neck, and Eli pressed her against the wall, his lips attacking hers eagerly. Soon his hands were all over her body, trying to see more of her, and he unbuttoned Clare's shirt haphazardly.

Clare helped him take off his shirt and he pressed his chest against Clare's breasts, the fabric of her bra teasing his skin. The kiss was deep and intense, but Clare pushed him away gently.

"Let's go to your bedroom," she said, her breathing shallow.

"Okay," he muttered. Everything went by in a flash; next thing he knew, both of them were completely naked, and Clare was moaning softly at his touch.

He missed it, missed being able to touch Clare's naked body, missed being able to kiss every single inch of her, missed being able to taste her sweet skin.

Both of their breathing was labored, and they were kissing as if they were in a hurry, as if the moment would suddenly end. He bit Clare's neck softly, and she started tugging on his hair, trying to get Eli's attention.

He moved back to her lips and then looked at her. Clare swallowed nervously, and Eli noticed that her bottom lip was quivering.

"Eli… I love you."

Eli didn't say a word, he just relished the fact that Clare was finally remembering things and that she loved him. He kissed her softly, his hand gently caressing her breasts and then smiled at her.

"I love you too."

He leaned in and kissed her, loving her more than ever, loving her more than he ever thought possible. Both started kissing each other more urgently, and he knew that he couldn't wait anymore. He breathed deeply as he pushed into her, and Clare dug her fingernails in his back painfully, but he kept moving. Eli was moving fast, and Clare arched her back with every thrust, and he didn't want to let go of her.

He kissed her and Clare moaned desperately against his lips, shaking uncontrollably in his arms. Clare's moans pushed him over the edge, and he trembled, kissing every part of Clare's face he could reach.

"Stay with me," he said softly, touching Clare's red cheek with his hand. "Don't leave me anymore. Just stay... Please."

Clare looked at him, and a sweet smile appeared on her face.

"I'm not leaving."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi.**

**Author's note: Well, this is the last chapter. Thank you so much for giving my story a chance, for reading my attempt at a happy story. I will post a new story on Friday, and it will be the return to my dark, angsty roots, but with what I hope is an interesting twist. I'm pretty excited about it. Hopefully you will read it and find it mildly interesting. Thank YOU.**

**This chapter is dedicated to the real-life couple who inspired this story, V and M. They have been married for almost 19 years now, and have (obviously) been through really rough times. It makes me happy to now see them struggling with mundane events such as raising a tween boy and a rather outspoken teenage girl. They are an inspiration to me, and their life is a testament to true love. They make me believe that maybe someday, even though I've been hurt, I will find the love of my life. Thanks, V, for being such an amazing human being, for being a father figure to me. Thanks M, even though we clash sometimes, you give me really good advice. Thank you.**

_**-Months later-**_

_**Eli**_

He put the last frame in one of the boxes and sighed as he looked around. The living room was completely empty, and Adam came out of his bedroom carrying a heavy-looking box.

"Do you need help?" asked Eli, brushing dust off his clothes.

"Nah, man, I'm good," shrugged Adam, putting the box on the floor. "I can't believe this is happening. We are going our separate ways."

"Dude, we are just going to live fifteen minutes away from each other," mocked Eli, patting his friend on the shoulder.

"I guess…" sighed Adam. "But I'm really excited about you two, finally moving in together. Though Clare pretty much lived here already."

Eli smiled as Adam continued to arrange his boxes. It would be sad to leave his old apartment, but he was looking forward to start a new stage of his life with Clare. She had been remembering things little by little, and although she still had some blank spaces in her memory, the progress she made had surprised her doctors, family, and therapist. Clare had defied all odds, regaining her past one step at a time.

He was still an atheist, but Eli had to admit that there were some things that just couldn't be explained.

"And you're graduating tomorrow," grinned Adam. "Man, your life looks good."

"You will be there, right?" asked Eli hopefully.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

They both looked at each other and then hugged awkwardly, and Adam chuckled softly.

"When are you proposing?" asked Adam curiously as they let go of each other.

Eli swallowed slowly, and dug his hands in his pockets. He brushed one of the boxes with his foot, considering his answer.

"Soon, just not yet," shrugged Eli. "I'll find the right time. I just want her to go back to school and feel comfortable before I ask her."

"Makes sense," said Adam. "And hey, you're going to live together, so you are practically married already."

Eli merely nodded and went back to work on his boxes. As he started taping them, he thought briefly of the accident, and how it had changed their lives completely. Things would never be the same, but his relationship with Clare had always been unpredictable. Their relationship had been tested in the most bizarre, horrific way.

But they made it through.

_**Clare**_

"I'm so sad that you're not going to be here for Eli's graduation," said Clare as Darcy finished packing.

"I'm sorry, but it was the only flight I could get," said Darcy, seemingly disappointed.

Clare watched her sister pack, and thought of her empty apartment. She was moving with Eli to a new apartment, ready to finally start their life together. She was excited and scared about it, but she loved Eli and she knew that they would be okay.

She still didn't remember some of the events of her past, such as her graduation from high school, her first kiss with Eli (which she desperately wanted to remember), her first few semesters of college… all of those memories she wished she would recover someday.

The accident was now painfully etched in her memory, with the smell of hot metal and blood still haunting her every other night, but Eli was always there for her, holding her hand until the brief terror passed. Every now and then Eli would have nightmares too, and the constant pain in his leg would not let him forget. She remembered what Eli had said the first time they met after the accident:

_It's funny how you want to remember an incident I would rather forget_

She finally understood what Eli had meant, and it struck her as ironic that now she wanted to forget all about the accident. Sometimes she still felt trapped in the car, but as Eli told her, little by little both of them would get out of it. She hoped that someday the emotional pain would subdue, leaving them free at last.

Time would heal everything, she thought.

"You seem deep in thought, my dear sister," mocked Darcy as she zipped up her bags.

"Just thinking of everything that has happened in the last year," explained Clare, leaning against the wall. "How in one second, my life changed. And yet, Eli seemed to be the only constant thing in it. I mean, and you, of course. Thanks, Darcy. For giving up everything to be here with me. Sorry I kept you here for so long."

Darcy let go of her bags and walked over to Clare, hugging her tightly. "Clare, you're my sister and I would do anything, everything for you. I'm just glad you're better now, and I know that Eli will take good care of you."

Clare hugged her sister back, feeling happy and hopeful. "Thank you. Thank you, Darcy."

Darcy let go of Clare, and both sisters had tears in their eyes. "Come on, let's save this mushy moment for the airport," said Darcy, wiping her tears away.

_**Eli**_

"I'm exhausted."

Eli realized that moving just a day before his graduation wasn't the best idea, and his muscles were starting to ache. His leg was also starting to bother him a little, so he decided to take a small break. Eli lay on the floor of their new living room, and Clare followed him, giggling. Both of them were covered in dust and Eli's nose wrinkled a little when he smelled his own sweat.

"I stink. Sorry," he said to Clare.

"It's not that bad," said Clare, resting her head on his chest. "You've been moving boxes all day."

"So have you, and you look perfect," protested Eli.

"Well… I _am_ perfect," mocked Clare, kissing him on the cheek.

"Don't forget modest," grinned Eli, and turned to face her, searching for Clare's lips. They made out for a while, the carpet underneath them slightly burning Eli's elbow.

His mind was playing tricks on him, torturing him with the "what ifs" that he thought about constantly. He always feared that Clare would wake up one day and not remember him again; it was an ever-present thought, although he knew that it would be practically impossible.

He pushed those thoughts away and focused on kissing his girlfriend, enjoying the texture of Clare's soft lips.

"Are you excited about graduating?" asked Clare as Eli leaned his forehead against hers.

"Yeah, I'm finally done with school," breathed Eli. "Thrilled about it. And then I'll start working at the publishing company… it will be fun."

"Editing other people's work," mumbled Clare, brushing her lips on his. "I bet that makes you feel great."

"You will never let go of me editing your work in Miss Dawes' class, huh?" smirked Eli. "How come you remember that? Not fair."

"Selective memory," said Clare, and kissed him again. Eli deepened the kiss as he slid his hand under Clare's shirt, teasing her skin with his fingertips.

"You're just amazing," whispered Eli, and Clare snuggled closer to him.

"You're pretty cool yourself," said Clare, and Eli chuckled.

"So, what are we doing after your graduation?" asked Clare curiously as Eli pulled her closer to him. "I mean, we're going out for dinner with both our parents but afterwards?"

"I was thinking… my bed, your body," mused Eli, and Clare started laughing. "That's all I need, Clare. I only need you."

Clare sighed deeply next to him, and Eli kissed her again, enjoying every single second of the moment they were sharing. To have Clare by his side, to have her remember most of their past together, that was enough for him.

"Are you going to be waiting for me behind the stage when I get my diploma?" asked Eli, holding her close. "Your face is the only thing I want to see after I get it."

Clare looked at him, her eyes finally full of the love he remembered, and suddenly, the girl who had woken up several months ago without any recollection of him disappeared. Eli was no longer a stranger to her, but the love of her life. Clare was back, and she then spoke the sweetest words Eli had ever heard.

"Don't worry, Eli. I won't forget."


End file.
